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追忆似水年华
Can it really be sixty-two years ago that I first saw you?
It is truly a lifetime, I know. But as I gaze into your eyes now, it seems like only yesterday that I first saw you, in that small café in Hanover Square.
From the moment I saw you smile, as you opened the door for that young mother and her newborn baby. I knew. I knew that I wanted to share the rest of my life with you.
I still think of how foolish I must have looked, as I gazed at you, that first time. I remember watching you intently, as you took off your hat and loosely shook your short dark hair with your fingers. I felt myself becoming immersed in your every detail, as you placed your hat on the table and cupped your hands around the hot cup of tea, gently blowing the steam away with your pouted lips.
From that moment, everything seemed to make perfect sense to me. The people in the café and the busy street outside all disappeared into a hazy blur. All I could see was you.
All through my life I have relived that very first day. Many, many times I have sat and thought about that the first day, and how for a few fleeting moments I am there, feeling again what is like to know true love for the very first time. It pleases me that I can still have those feelings now after all those years, and I know I will always have them to comfort me.
Not even as I shook and trembled uncontrollably in the trenches, did I forget your face. I would sit huddled into the wet mud, terrified, as the hails of bullets and mortars crashed down around me. I would clutch my rifle tightly to my heart, and think again of that very first day we met. I would cry out in fear, as the noise of war beat down around me. But, as I thought of you and saw you smiling back at me, everything around me would be become silent, and I would be with you again for a few precious moments, far from the death and destruction. It would not be until I opened my eyes once again, that I would see and hear the carnage of the war around me.
I cannot tell you how strong my love for you was back then, when I returned to you on leave in the September, feeling battered, bruised and fragile. We held each other so tight I thought we would burst. I asked you to marry me the very same day and I whooped with joy when you looked deep into my eyes and said "yes" to being my bride.
I"m looking at our wedding photo now, the one on our dressing table, next to your jewellery box. I think of how young and innocent we were back then. I remember being on the church steps grinning like a Cheshire cat, when you said how dashing and handsome I looked in my uniform. The photo is old and faded now, but when I look at it, I only see the bright vibrant colors of our youth. I can still remember every detail of the pretty wedding dress your mother made for you, with its fine delicate lace and pretty pearls. If I concentrate hard enough, I can smell the sweetness of your wedding bouquet as you held it so proudly for everyone to see.
I remember being so over enjoyed, when a year later, you gently held my hand to your waist and whispered in my ear that we were going to be a family.
I know both our children love you dearly; they are outside the door now, waiting.
Do you remember how I panicked like a mad man when Jonathon was born? I can still picture you laughing and smiling at me now, as I clumsily held him for the very first time in my arms. I watched as your laughter faded into tears, as I stared at him and cried my own tears of joy.
Sarah and Tom arrived this morning with little Tessie. Can you remember how we both hugged each other tightly when we saw our tiny granddaughter for the first time? I can"t believe she will be eight next month. I am trying not to cry, my love, as I tell you how beautiful she looks today in her pretty dress and red shiny shoes, she reminds me so much of you that first day we met. She has her hair cut short now, just like yours was all those years ago. When I met her at the door her smile wrapped around me like a warm glove, just like yours used to do, my darling.
I know you are tired, my dear, and I must let you go. But I love you so much it hurts to do so.
As we grew old together, I would tease you that you had not changed since we first met. But it is true, my darling. I do not see the wrinkles and grey hair that other people see. When I look at you now, I only see your sweet tender lips and youthful sparkling eyes as we sat and had out first picnic next to that small stream, and chased each other around that big old oak tree. I remember wishing those first few days together would last forever. Do you remember how exciting and wonderful those days were?
I must go now, my darling. Our children are waiting outside. They want to say goodbye to you.
I wipe the tears away from my eyes and bend my frail old legs down to the floor, so that I can kneel beside you. I lean close to you and take hold of your hand and kiss your tender lips for the very last time.
Sleep peacefully my dear.
I am sad that you had to leave me, but please don"t worry. I am content, knowing I will be with you soon. I am too old and too empty now to live much longer without you.
I know it won"t be long before we meet again in that small café in Hanover Square.
Goodbye, my darling wife.
我们初次相遇，难道真的是六十二年前吗？
年华似水，倏忽间我们已相携一世。望着你的眼睛，当年的邂逅历历如在昨昔，就在汉诺威广场的那间小咖啡馆里。
从见到你的那一刻起，那一刻你正为一位年轻的母亲和她的小宝宝开门，那一刻当看到你的盈盈笑靥，我就明白我只愿与你执手携老，共度今生。
我仍然不时想起，那天自己那样地盯着你，一定很傻；就那样情不自禁怔怔地望着你，追随你摘下小帽，用手指松了松短短的黑发，追随你把帽子放在桌前，双手捧起暖暖的茶杯，追随你微撅樱唇，轻轻吹走飘腾的热气，我的目光始终追随着你，感觉自己在你的温柔举止间慢慢融化。
从那一刻起，一切似乎都鲜明了意义。咖啡馆里的来来往往和外面闹市的熙熙攘攘忽然都模糊了起来，我眼里能看到的，只有你。
光阴似箭，那一天却不断在我的记忆里重演，鲜活如初。多少次我再次坐下，不断追忆那天的点滴，不断回味那些飞纵的瞬间，重新体会一见钟情的美丽。岁月的流逝却并没有带走我的爱恋感觉，这些体验会永远伴随我，安抚我的寥寥余生。
即使是当我在战壕中控制不住地颤抖，我也不曾忘记你的容颜。我蜷缩在稀泥中，身边是枪林弹雨，弥漫硝烟，我把步枪紧紧地攥在胸前，一颗惊恐不安的心，还是想起了我们初识的那一天。身旁战火呼啸，恐惧让我想要大声呼叫，直到想起你，仿佛见到你在我身后盈盈浅笑，战场忽然沉寂下来，在这珍贵的瞬间，我觉得自己暂时远离了毁灭和死亡，飞向你的身旁。我拼命想留住这美好，直到睁开眼，周围却依然是血与火的生死战场。
九月休假回到你身边，我疲惫而脆弱，没能再告诉你战火纷飞时我对你的爱有多深。我们只能紧紧拥抱在一起，仿佛要把对方挤碎。也就在那天，面对我的求婚，你深深凝望我的眼睛，答应做我的新娘，而我早已欢喜地大喊大叫。
我现在正看着我们的结婚照片，总是放在妆台上的那张，就在你的首饰盒旁。那时候，我们多么年轻，多么纯真。我记得我们站在教堂的台阶上，开心得像一对甜蜜的鸳鸯，你还说我穿着制服多么英武俊朗。照片已经旧得泛黄了，但我看到的，却只有当年青春的明媚姿彩。我仍然记得你母亲为你做的那件新娘礼服，那些精致的花边和漂亮的珠饰。让我再想一想，我还能闻到那婚礼花束的甜香，你那么骄傲地捧着花，让每一个人分享你的幸福时光。
一年后，你轻轻地把我的手放到你的腹前，对着我的耳朵悄悄透露这个让我欣喜若狂的好消息：我们就快有宝宝啦。
我知道我们的孩子都深深地爱你，他们现在就在门外等候。
你还记得乔纳森出生的时候我那手足无措的慌张样子吗？当我笨拙地把他抱在怀里，我还记得你笑话我的样子，我看着他，我们都情不自禁地迸出了开心的泪花。
今天早晨撒拉和汤姆带着小缇西也赶到了。你还记得吗？第一次看到这个可爱的小孙女，我俩高兴地紧紧拥抱。真让人难以相信，她下个月就八岁了。亲爱的，我不得不忍住眼泪告诉你，小家伙今天穿着漂亮的裙子，闪亮的红色小鞋，让我立刻想起当年相遇时的你，连她的短发也像极了年轻的你。当我在门口看到她的时候，她的笑容暖人心脾，这竟然也和你一模一样。
我明白，亲爱的，你累了，我应该让你离开。可是爱人即逝，孤侣何伤！
这些年我们相濡以沫，白首到老，我总是逗你说你的容颜依然如昔。可这是真的，亲爱的，我真的见不到他人眼里的皱纹和白发。现在我望着你，也还是只能看到你娇嫩温柔的红唇和秋水流盼的眼眸，仿佛我们第一次在那条小溪边野餐，在那棵巨大的老橡树旁追逐嬉戏。那时候我们刚刚在一起，总是盼望那样的日子生生世世，你还记得吗？那些日子是多么激情荡漾，让人不忍回首……
亲爱的，我应该走了。孩子们都等在外面，他们要和你道别。
我擦去了眼角的泪，跪在你的身边，轻轻靠近你，握住你的双手，最后一次吻你。
亲爱的，安心地睡吧。
这分离扯碎了我的心。别担心，我很快就会来陪伴你。生死茫茫，尘世间没有你，这满腔的衷肠凭谁倾诉？这只影的寂寥复有何欢？
很快，我们就能在汉诺威广场的那间小咖啡馆里再相逢。
再会了，我的爱妻。 (实习编辑：夏根建)
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